Grace in the Graveyard

Matthew 9:27-30

As Jesus departed, two blind men followed him, crying out, “Show us mercy, Son of David.”

When he came into the house, the blind men approached him. Jesus said to them, “Do you believe I am able to do this?”

“Yes, Lord,” they replied.

Then Jesus touched their eyes and said, “It will happen for you just as you have believed.” Their eyes were opened.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

As requested, here is the message I shared on Mission Sunday at Silver Spring. Forgive the length! My normal blog posts are not this long.

.....

“Life sneaks up on us every once in a while and gives us something we didn't ever know we wanted, and lights within us a love we didn't even know existed.” ~Shauna Niequist

That was true for me and the mission field. My image of a missionary was a person who sold all of their worldly possessions, went to the jungle, and handed out Bible tracks to the native people.

But come to think of it, you don’t hear the word “missionary” a lot in the Presbyterian Church.

In fact, this past summer that became very evident to me. I was at a school supply store called The Learning Source buying some items for my classroom. When I was checking out the cashier started asking me where I was teaching. And so I told him that I was a missionary-teacher in Bolivia. And immediately he was just overcome and wanted to know more, so I said, “Yes, it’s such a blessing. My church here at home supports me.” And he replied, “Oh, what church do you and your family belong to?” And I said, “Silver Spring Presbyterian Church.” 

Then he paused and said, “A Presbyterian church has missionaries?” Turns out this man was an 80-year-old Baptist minister, working at the store part-time, and the idea of a Presbyterian church supporting a missionary was unheard of. He ended our conversation by saying, “I didn’t think I was going to learn anything new at my age. Those Presbyterians are sending out missionaries. Thank you for telling me.”

Today my message will center on two pieces of Scripture, one from the Gospel of Matthew and the other from Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth. The first poses the question, “Do you believe Jesus is able?” And the second follows through by asking, “If you believe, then what controls you?” I’m going to share in light of my experiences preparing for and living out my ministry in Bolivia.

When I was in my senior year of college, I was completing my degree in Elementary Education and I attended a seminar on the topic of international Christian education. The presenter was a recruiter for the Network of International Christian Schools, otherwise known as NICS. This organization has 20 schools in 15 countries around the world, Ghana, Kenya, Brazil, Venezuela, Bolivia, Peru, Turkey, Afghanistan, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, Korea, China, Japan, and the United States. The mission of NICS is “reaching the world for Christ through international Christian education.” I remember listening to the presenter’s experiences teaching overseas and thinking, “Wow, that sounds like a great opportunity…for someone else.”

You see, sometimes it’s easier to perpetuate the illusion that you have control over your life when you distance yourself from things that are out of your control. Word of advice: When you encounter those “out-of-control” scenarios, be very careful. What I’ve learned is that our “impossibilities” are the very places God likes to work the most.

At that time in my life, control was very important to me. After all, I was graduating in a couple of months and there was a lot of ambiguity about what the future held. I wanted safety and comfort, not adventure. I craved familiarity, not the unknown.

In my frenzy of finals and job applications, I asked for His blessing and continued on my way. 

My way. In one of my favorite devotionals called Streams in the Desert, one of the authors writes, “You will find it impossible to ‘commit your way to the Lord’ unless your way has met with His approval…Are you willing to submit all your ways to God, allowing Him to pass judgment on them? And that is why some Christians are so anxious and fearful. They have obviously not truly committed their way to the Lord and left it with Him. They took it to Him, but walked away with it again.”

I walked away from God over and over and over, and told Him, “I know what I’m doing, Lord!” Sometimes in my relationship with God, I must look like a child throwing a temper tantrum. A child stomping her foot and saying, “I can do it all by myself, thank you very much!” The truth is I had no idea what I was doing, but I couldn’t admit that because submitting all my ways to Him meant losing control of what little I had left.

 “Do you believe I am able to do this?” Jesus asked the blind men. That question had been haunting me for many years, primarily because I was afraid to answer it. If I answer ‘No’ then I’m slapping Jesus in the face and taking him off of His throne. But if I answer ‘Yes’ then I’m confirming that if Jesus is able, that means that I am not able. You need to know that we serve a Savior who is able. Who delights in the impossible. Who is capable of the miraculous.

That’s a risky statement. Saying that Jesus is able is saying that I don’t have the power. I don’t have control. God isn’t fitting into this box I’ve made for Him. If you haven’t already noticed, God doesn’t try to cooperate with us, with our expectations of who (we think) He’s supposed to be.

One night my fears about the future became so burdensome that I finally said, “Ok, God. I know You love me. You have proven that in Your Word and in my life. And I also know You have a plan for my life, so just- Send me!” 

Send me. That was my first little white flag, my first sign of surrender. My first whisper of, “I actually can’t do this.” Of course, my idea of ‘Send me’ was drawn within a well-defined radius that did not include leaving the United States. But I believe that when Jesus' power collides with our desperation, miracles happen. 

In the weeks and months that followed, He began opening my eyes to the possibility of missions, and I remember making two lists. On one, I recorded all of the reasons I could think of to go overseas, and on the other all of the reasons to not go. The contrast between those two lists was shocking.

All of the reasons to pursue overseas missions were motivated by Christ’s love. And all of the reasons against missions were motivated by my fears, primarily my fear of losing control.

Do you believe I am able to do this? Jesus’ response was the one He gave to the two blind men, “It will happen for you just as you have believed.” 

In this moment I realized that my belief in God’s ability was giving Him full permission to interfere with my every aspect of my life. I figured out that God wanted to get in my way, mess up my plans, and set me in a new direction.

Paul told the church in Corinth, “For the love of Christ controls us.”

If the love of Christ doesn’t control us, what does? Well, what does Scripture say? 1 John 4:18 tells us, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” It is FEAR that controls us if the compelling love of Jesus does not. We don’t have a choice in this life to control or be controlled. We were created as submissive beings, so either we’re going to submit to the Creator and His will or we’re going to submit to something else entirely.

Up until that point, I had submitted to my fears and rejected His ability to work for me. The most amazing part was that when I finally surrendered to the authority of Christ, His plan was put into motion faster than I could have imagined.

In October 2012 I completed my application as a missionary with NICS, the first application, I might add, that brought me real peace. Within a couple of weeks, I was interviewing with directors at two schools in South America. And by the end of November, I accepted a position at Highlands International School in La Paz, Bolivia for an immediate fifth grade opening in January. I had one month to get my shots, prepare my visa, raise support, and pack my bags.

It was incredible to watch God work on my behalf and for His glory. And it happened through recognition of His capabilities and a release of my control.

At this point, I’m going to tell you a little bit about my home in Bolivia, but I’m not quite finished sharing about the truth that He is able and His love controls us. Because I believe that when God wants to teach us an important truth, He usually has to hit us over the head with it a few times before it really starts to sink in.

Some have called Bolivia “the graveyard of missionaries.” Not the most encouraging thought when you’re pursuing missions. It’s a spiritually-dark place where many missionaries come, but few remain. Bolivia is a developing, Spanish-speaking country in the heart of South America. It is the heart geographically, but also the heart of this continent’s hurting people. If you were to identify Bolivia, it would be in the face of a poor farmer from one of the Aymara or Quechua native tribes. If the history of the United States is marked by pride, then the history of Bolivia is marked by shame. It’s incredible wealth in natural resources has made it vulnerable to severe exploitation. From shiploads of silver and gold lost to Spanish conquistadors, to an entire coastline lost to Chile during the War of the Pacific. For most of its history, Bolivia has been ruled by members of the aristocracy and military leaders. Mistrust of the government and authority in general is epidemic among its people. As far as religion goes, most Bolivians attend Catholic mass while also claiming many pagan beliefs, just for good measure. Beside an altar to the Virgin Mary might be an altar to Pachamama, the Bolivian equivalent to Mother Earth.

Take all of this information, wrap it up, and send it 13,000 feet up into the Andes mountains and you’ve arrived in La Paz, “The City that Touches the Sky,” the capital of Bolivia, my home. A city of incredible natural beauty and also extreme poverty. Palaces for the rich peek over walls of graffiti. A city of cobblestone streets swarming with stray dogs and old VW Beetles. Decades behind in technological advances, but very present in day-to-day suffering.

This is the reality that my students are born into, learn from, and find their place. Looking at the past and present of Bolivia, it’s no wonder that its people struggle with faith. It’s no wonder that Jesus’ question, “Do you believe I am able to do this?” is painful to them. It’s no wonder that it’s associated with a graveyard.

When people ask what I do for a living, I say I teach elementary school kids, but it’s so much more than that. When I walk into that classroom, I remind myself that I have been made a steward and soldier of truth. My students are some of the most privileged children in Bolivia. They come from families of position and power and wealth, and many of those families wouldn’t darken the doorstep of a church, but they send their children to our international Christian school. Why? Because their children are learning English and will one day attend university. That is the hope that many of these families cling to. What some of these parents don’t realize (but God knew all along) is that their child is learning about a different kind of hope. They’re meeting a man named Jesus that values their Bolivian identity, who honors their culture, and still wants to be their King.  

These children are Bolivia’s future. These are the future high-ranking government officials, international businessmen, CEOs, professors – influential leaders and teachers. And they come from a history marked by pain and violence and shame.

The graveyard of missionaries. Ironic, considering that our school was built on grounds that used to be an ancient Aymara graveyard. A place where no one would live because it was considered cursed. It is no mere coincidence that God chose to start a school in this place. He seems to have a habit of bringing life out of death. Jesus is able. He delights in the impossible. He is capable of the miraculous. When Jesus' power collides with our desperation, miracles happen. 

Bolivia is desperate for some good news, for a miracle. Thanks to Him, there’s one already underway at Highlands International School.  He has a redemptive plan for Bolivia, for the world, and believe it or not, it’s starting with little children who trust in Jesus. That is the hope we have. 

So, it’s Mission Sunday. So, what? Why should I be concerned with missions? Why waste my time worrying about other people when I have my own problems? Because we need missionary-hearts in the church. We need people that are willing to submit all their ways to God, allowing Him to pass judgment on them. We need people who will hold up their own white flags and say, “I can’t do this, but Jesus can!” We need people who have tasted and seen that the Lord is good, and then go out and share that good news. 

Why do we need these people? Because we live in a world that is desperate for them, for the hands and feet of Christ. And if you doubt whether you think you’re up for the challenge, ask yourself those two questions, “Do I believe Jesus is able… to interfere in my life, to work in this situation, to give me the courage?” and also “Does the love of Christ really control my life?”

 He is powerful enough to do what we cannot. Trust that He really is able. 

Highlands International School