Garbage Upstream

“What if I told you that every sin you are struggling with, every discouragement you are dealing with, even the lack of purpose you’re living with are because of idolatry?” ~Kyle Idleman, Gods at War p.12

 

My brain is wired for cleaning up messes. In the kitchen or classroom, in my bedroom or bathroom. Vacuum, dust, wipe, mop. My favorite aisle in the grocery store is lined with cleaning products.

My brain is wired for cleaning up messes. On my face or in my hair. Powder, press, slick, pin. The wrinkles in my shirt make me cringe.

My brain is wired for cleaning up messes. In my family or with friends. Speak up, solve, forgive, forget. Get over it so we can get back to work, please and thank you.

My brain is wired for cleaning up messes. And it does that beautifully. But I’ve noticed that there are some messes in my life that I just never stop cleaning up. As soon as I think the garbage has been taken out, I find more in the corners, under the bed, in the closet.

And I’m not talking about dust bunnies.

I’m talking about other kinds of garbage:

1.  The things that disappoint me

2.  The things I complain about

3.  The things I spend money on

4.  The things that worry me

5.  The things I run to for comfort

6.  The things that infuriate me

7.  The things I dream about

 My day-to-day garbage management revolves around these things. Frustrations and desires that leave a trail of regret, guilt, and shame behind them. But I confess that lately I haven’t been cleaning up these messes. Frankly, I’m exhausted. Instead I’ve been running upstream to figure out where they come from. Because I’m not going to spend the rest of my life trying to keep things under control.

The garbage has a source, and I need to find it. Of course, I know where my search will always end: the crowded throne room of my heart.

This isn’t a popular place to spend our time. After all, we think it’s easier to sweep the broken shards of glass under the rug. The little problems of life aren’t quite as daunting as what’s really going on under the surface. But when we get to the throne room, we’re faced with a frightening truth: Where does God sit, if He has any place there at all?

I’m learning that my garbage problem is a worship problem. I bring my offerings of time, energy, and money to the things I prioritize on a daily basis. But when all is said and done, what I’m really offering is myself.

Thankfully, my Father loves me too much to share me. And no matter the ugliness of the mess, He refuses to leave that throne room.

Now a question for you, reader: Could your day-to-day garbage be a worship problem too?

Something to consider. Perhaps something to investigate. As for me, the battle to remove idols is far from over. God-willing, I intend to focus the next several blog posts on misplaced worship and the fullness that only comes from worshipping God.

The best news of all is in John 1:16 ~ For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

The struggle to find satisfaction and purpose can only be conquered through the One who is already full. My brain may be wired for cleaning up messes, but only God's heart can remove the garbage dump at its source.

 

"Yet even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts, and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love." ~Joel 2:12-13