Mean Teacher

He emptied my hands of my treasured store,

And His covenant love revealed,
There was not a wound in my aching heart
The balm of His breath has not healed.

Oh, tender and true was His discipline sore,
In wisdom, that taught and tried,
Till the soul that He sought
was trusting in Him,
And nothing on earth beside.

-Streams in the Desert

“Shhh… Miss Shipman’s coming.”

The whispers fade away as my heels click across the sidewalk and around the corner. I find a pair of students in the small courtyard just outside our elementary classrooms. One lies on the ground belly first. The other sits cross-legged, leaning against a tree. Each are holding a chapter book, but I can tell from the glances they’re stealing that neither of them have been reading.

What to do, what to do.

“Good morning,” I decide to say. It is a good morning, gloriously beautiful. And besides, neither of them are my students. They’ve never been my students. In fact, I’m blanking on their names as I quickly pass by to continue my errand.  

“Good morning, Miss Shipman,” they reply, both breathing a sigh of relief.

A puzzled smile crosses my face. Since when did I become that teacher? You know, the m-e-a-n one.

…..

We all know the classic mean teacher examples. Viola Swamp. Miss Truchbull. Dolores Umbridge. The teachers who send a shiver down our spines. When we starry-eyed graduates enter the teaching field, these are hardly the models we hope to exemplify. 

Instead we think of Miss Nelson. Miss Honey. Even Miss Frizzle and her untamed hair. Teachers brimming with compassion and kindness. Teachers who never need to discipline because, well, everyone loves them too much.

(And yes, I do realize that all the teachers I just listed are female and, curiously, unmarried. That’s classic children’s literature for you.)

But the truth is, Miss Nelson would be eaten alive. Miss Honey would cower in a corner until the three o’clock bell rang. And Miss Frizzle would be fired after the first unscheduled field trip through the solar system. These heroines work well in fiction, but are hopelessly unfit for the real world.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize: Nice teachers make lousy educators.

…..

“You’re mean.” I’ve heard it through looks and gestures. Over desks, across four-square courts. Behind books, down lunch lines. Occasionally I’ve heard it spoken OUT LOUD, seething and boiling through clenched teeth.

And every time, I celebrate.

I celebrate because it reminds me of how my Father looks at me. It emboldens me to give these students something that all of us desperately need. Tough love.

Tough love: a strict but kind way of dealing with someone who has a problem. (MacMillan Dictionary)

Tough love: the fact of deliberately not showing too much kindness to a person who has a problem so that the person will start to solve their own problem. (Cambridge Dictionary Online)

Tough love: an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. (Bill Milliken, Tough Love, 1968)

I’ve read that this rising generation of American kids has been labeled the laziest, rudest, and most entitled in history. News flash: It’s happening in Bolivia, too. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was happening in many countries all over the world.

The question is, why? Are “kids these days” just born lazier, ruder, and more entitled? Forgive my facetiousness, but there are genuine reasons behind these labels. Let me add to my previous statement.

Nice teachers make lousy educators. 

Nice moms and dads make lousy parents, too.

Could it be that the problems we are facing with our youth are direct results of the way we contribute as adults? Do nice people make poor role models?

Hear me out. “Nice” does not mean loving or compassionate. Instead, nice says, “I want this child to be my friend.” Nice says, “This child can hurt my feelings.” Nice says, “I need to rescue this child from hurt.” In other words, nice is an avenue for children to manipulate you. To play the victim.

And believe me, if you give them the chance, they WILL.

In the same way, “mean” does not mean cruel or hateful, when supplemented with the wisdom and courage that only comes from God. Mean says, “This is my child, not my friend.” Means says, “This child cannot hurt my feelings, because my sense of worth is found elsewhere.” Mean says, “I need to teach this child what to do when they’re hurt.” In other words, mean is an avenue to hold children responsible. To help them feel empowered in the best way.

Don’t we naturally prefer the warm-fuzzy, nice version of love? The kind that wraps its arms around us and says that everything’s going to be OK? The kind that never confronts us or hurts our feelings?

But true love isn’t about making us feel good. It’s about making us GOOD.

My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline
or give up when you are corrected by him,
because the Lord disciplines whomever he loves,
and he punishes every son or daughter whom he accepts.

-Hebrews 12: 5-6

Don’t reject the instruction of the Lord, my son;
don’t despise his correction.
The Lord loves those he corrects,
just like a father who treats his son with favor.

-Proverbs 3: 11-12

True love changes our perceptions and our motivations. Its goal is to transform us from the inside out, into the image of Christ, and that process is always painful. A gentle tap on the shoulder is rarely enough to lead us back to Him. Our Father will do whatever is necessary to mold us, even to the point of breaking us. Yes, even to the point of hurting our feelings.

The most important thing to remember is that He always disciplines in and through love.

…..

Tough love is, well, tough. As adults we often get it wrong. We err on the side of too much discipline or too much mercy. Sometimes it’s a challenge to know what position to take as we teach and serve. Thankfully, our Father has not abandoned us to figure it out on our own. Here are a few truths I try to remember when I am disciplining or receiving discipline.

1. God loves this person infinitely more than I ever could.

2. God knows exactly what this person desperately needs.

3. God’s goal is to change this person into the image of Christ.

4. God desires me to point this person to Christ.

When we begin by loving the other person through a recognition of God’s love for them, He can provide enough grace and wisdom to help us in the toughness. 

......

 

Literacy rotations around the classroom. My kids LOVE Boggle!

 

100-year-old students on the 100th day of school!



 

 

Highlands School on a beautiful day!

 

I am VERY excited to announce that my mom Cindy and Aunt Karen will be visiting me here in Bolivia in less than a week! I can't wait to show them the school and the city of La Paz. They will be arriving on Valentine's Day, and will be here to celebrate my 25th birthday on Friday, Feb. 20! Please be praying for their safe arrival, stay, and departure. Pray that they would be healthy during this time as they adjust to the altitude as well. Pray for me that I would have strength and energy during their visit. Thank you, dear friends!

 

Aren't they GORGEOUS? Inside and out, people.