I have accepted the fact that this year alone is going to take me longer to process than any year of my life so far. Before I arrived in Bolivia, before I interviewed for a position at Highlands, before the thought of international education even crossed my mind, I knew God was up to something. I was in a comfortable place, living at home among family and friends. I was being spiritually fed on a regular basis, knowing that I had to store up that nourishment and the freedom to reflect on it. I liked to think that God was 'working in the background,' stomping down the path He wanted me to travel so that it would be clear when it was time to walk that way. Now, God is so much in the spotlight that I often find myself saying, "Wait up, rewind! Show me again, Lord! Can we have a review session or at least an outline summarizing these truths in bullet points? After all, you are the Master Teacher."
The perfect example of this was over the Highlands Spring Break during the last week of March. Five teacher-friends and I took an 8-hour bus ride across the border of Chile, headed for the coast and, we hoped, relaxation. I fervently prayed that our trip would be "uneventful in a good way," which basically meant that we'd spend less time in 'crisis-mode' and more in 'sunshine, sand-between-my-toes, sleeping-in' mode. Although God was gracious in providing that much-needed rest, I really didn't expect Him to show up on our vacation.
During the many hours spent on the beach under my 'parasol,' as I began to call my ordinary umbrella, I decided to reopen a book I had put on the back burner. If you've ever read or heard of the book "Suffering and the Sovereignty of God" by John Piper and Justin Taylor, you know that it's not exactly what you'd call "beach-reading material." The premise of the book is the hard truth that although God never does evil, He ordains it. (To say that God ordains something is to say that He has planned and purposed and willed it from before the creation of the world. The crucifixion of Jesus, the worst evil ever carried out, being the ultimate example.) Whoa, heavy stuff. Why would God plunge me into a deeper understanding of His sovereignty over evil in the world when I'm trying to work on my tan?
I think it's because in that beautiful place, in the midst of pancakes and salty ocean air and late-night laughter, God wanted me to be uncomfortable. Not completely, but enough to shift any complacency that might set in. Enough for me to question why genuine peace isn't attached to circumstances. Enough for me to look around at 'the picture of serenity' and still conclude that I don't see anything here that I want more than God.
Even though I didn't send Him a formal invitation, I'm so glad He showed up when I unpacked my suitcase. And I'm so glad He continues to show up, come after me, get in my way, and confound my plans on a daily basis. Because Lord knows if I'm in charge, the enemy sure isn't going to take a vacation.
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