The City that Touches the Sky: Orange-Flavored Meltdowns

I saw Him when great losses came,
And found He loved me just the same.
When heavy loads I had to bear,
I found He lightened every care.
By sickness, sorrow, sore distress,
He calmed my mind and gave me rest.
He's filled my heart with joyous praise
Since I gave Him the upward gaze.

~A.E. Finn

“What’s going on, friend?”

It’s an exquisitely beautiful day. The ragged mountains around us are framing the blue in the sky. The sun is turning everything golden, waking up this old brick factory we use as a school. The morning chill slowly departs from the shadows, but somehow her chin is wobbling beneath pouting lips and those brown eyes blink back tears. Two arms hang limply at her side, defeated at 10 o’clock in the morning. My muscles tighten and prepare for battle.

“I’m thirsty.” It’s a whimper, a cry for help.

“Well, would you like to get a drink--”

“AND I SQUIRTED MYSELF IN THE EYE WITH MY JUICE BOX!”

Boom. In a matter of seconds, the floodgates open and I’m standing in front of a sobbing eight-year-old child, and now I notice the orange film smeared across her forehead and creeping into those curly baby hairs at the top of her scalp. But that seems insignificant compared to the tears streaming down her face and as I wipe them away with my thumbs I think, ‘Well, at least the orange juice is out of her eyes.’

But really, we both know that these tears have nothing to do with juice.

…

I can spot emotional meltdowns like it’s my job.

And I guess technically, it is.

Most of us have witnessed, dare I say participated in, our fair share. You’ll find them in the aisles of the grocery store, the checkout line at the mall, the football field, the claustrophobic cubicle, the restaurant booth, rush-hour traffic, and across the counter of every fast-food chain in America. Oh, and Starbucks. We can’t forget Starbucks.

But most of us might have trouble identifying the kaleidoscopic range of emotional meltdowns. Oh yes, let it be known that not all meltdowns are created equal.

Let me take you on a little walk down Meltdown Lane.

But first, enjoy this video.

Alright, are you ready now? Because if that didn’t cheer you up, I don’t know what will.

Let’s begin in the Warning Zone. These kinds are “on the verge” of becoming a complete disaster. If you catch them here, you can save yourself a lot of heartache later.

1. The shoulder shrugging-eyes staring-silent treatment kind. This is known as the “turtle.” In other words, “I’m so upset, I can no longer express myself with words adequate enough to convey the depth of my despair.”

2. The shoulder sagging-feet dragging-weak voice kind. This is commonly known as the “pity party.” In other words, “I want you to ask me if I’m alright, which I am N-O-T not, but I’m going to take my time telling you that because I want you to feel sorry for me a little longer.”

3. The chin wobbling-eyes blinking-hold it together kind. I call it the “domino.” In other words, “I’m fine, no really, everything is great and life is good, but if you say one word I’m going to literally fall apart in front of you. But really, I’m fine.”

Then things get a little more interesting… Let’s move on to the Disaster-In-Progress Zone.

4. The head shaking-eye rolling-arms crossing kind. I call this the “steam train.” (Fun fact: If you squint, you can actually see the smoke coming out of their ears.) In other words, “Nope, I’m done. I am totally done with this [insert your own creative word] and don’t bother trying to talk to me because I am so beyond you and there’s nothing you can say to make this better.”

5. The fist clenching-blood boiling-don’t mess with me kind. This is the “time bomb.” In other words, “Back off. Or else. Oops – too late.”

And here come the Academy-Award Winning Meltdowns. At this point, there’s no going back, people.

6. The squealing-head burrowing-prison break kind. This is called the “runner.” In other words, “You should be glad I’m taking off at the speed of light, because I was about to punch somebody in the face.” (A word to the wise: Just think “Tag, you’re it,” and start chasing. Preferably before they’ve made it three blocks away.)

7. The hysterical repeating-head splitting-take me home kind. I call this the “broken record.” In other words, “I… he just… and then he… but I wanted… so then… and… and…” This is about the time you remind them to B-R-E-A-T-H-E.

8. Then the one that takes the cake. The one that sends chills down our spines. The one that makes us want to crawl into a closet. The uncontrollable sobbing-chest heaving-collapse on the floor kind. Better known as the “ugly cry.” Oh… the ugly cry. In other words, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!” Hmm. Was that you who just screamed, or was it me?

(If for some reason you need a better picture than the one I’ve painted, just look up the Claire Danes Cry Face Project. Or Reasons My Son is Crying. You’ll be glad you did.)

Please don’t misinterpret my sarcasm as insensitivity. Because let’s face it: life is hard. It really is. And on some days, life is harder than usual. We wake up to greet the sun, but no sooner do our feet hit the floor than we squirt orange juice in our eyes. We feel strained and hollow and out-of-order. And it isn’t the juice; it’s us. We’re the ones who are broken and messed up.

I spend seven hours every day around small human beings. After a while, you realize that they’re the ones teaching you. An important thing I’ve learned from them is that it’s okay to be broken and messed up. More importantly, it’s okay to show it once in a while. There is freedom in a meltdown. Bear with me, unbelievers.

As adults, we have learned the art of masking our feelings, even convincing ourselves that everything is “alright”. The other adults in our life ask us how we’re doing, and we say we’re just fine, but that isn’t the truth. The truth is it was hard to get out of bed this morning. The truth is there isn’t enough time in the day for everything I need to do. The truth is I just had a huge fight with someone I care about. The truth is I haven’t prayed in a long time. The truth is I don’t really have what it takes to get through today.

But we don’t say these things.

Instead we say what’s easy and acceptable. We put on a smile.

Children do not have this luxury. They have not yet learned what is “acceptable,” nor have they learned how to cope. Accepting and moving beyond their feelings doesn’t make sense. I feel angry, so I’m going to show it. Hence the meltdowns. The time bombs, the runners, the ugly criers.

We need to teach children, and we need to remind ourselves, that it’s alright to feel angry or sad or frustrated. It’s normal to have a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. Sometimes, we’re going to fall on our faces, people. Those feelings of hopelessness are windows into what’s actually going on in our hearts. What separates you from everyone else is what you do with them when you’re face down.

1. Fight: Are you going to use those feelings to blame someone? Your coworker, your friend, your spouse, your home team? …God? After all, our pain seems to lessen when we make someone else pay. Right?

2. Flight: Maybe you curl up and ignore what you feel. “Keep calm and carry on” becomes your motto. If you don’t acknowledge the feelings then maybe they aren’t real. Or at least they don’t have power to control you. Or do they?

The truth is, neither of these choices bring any lasting peace. I know, I’ve tried. When we use our brokenness to cause someone else pain or when we cover it up and pretend it isn’t there, we never really heal. We just become an angrier, more confused version of ourselves.

There is only one reason why we don’t have to live in the Meltdown Zone. And it’s not some kind of therapy or support group or diet. It’s the hope we have in Christ. He’s the one who gives us the choice to stand up after we’ve fallen down. He’s the one who bends down and cares for all of our hurts. He’s the one who says, “Hey, I know where you’ve been. I’ve been there too. But my love is more than enough for you, no matter what.”

No one needs to teach us how to fall. We do that pretty well on our own. What we need to learn is how to stand back up and run to a Father who is eager to affirm, heal, and strengthen us. He is more than able to take our meltdowns as a sign of total surrender. We say, "I give up," and God says, "It's about time."

And those who know Your name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. ~Psalm 9:10

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HIS Third Grade Picture Updates:

Wednesday Tutoring with these goofballs is always a good time.

Everything about this picture amazes me. The boys in my class have extremely strong personalities and have historically not gotten along very well. There have been some major challenges this year, but also sweet moments like this one that remind me that God wants to do something beautiful and redemptive in this class. (Also, this illustration is surprisingly accurate to how the boys actually look.)

In September, Highlands hosted its first Community Festival day in our neighborhood of Mallasilla. It was a fantastic turnout! We had the Bolivian Traffic Zebras, the police force with their dogs, government leaders, and countless vendors promoting their businesses. It was a beautiful and delicious day!